Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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