The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
