Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
