So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
