he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
