what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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