he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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