You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
