She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you would pick up someone in the library
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
