So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
