I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
