her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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