hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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