He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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