How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
