Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
