Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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