i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
