We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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