Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
