I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
