Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
