I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
