You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
