I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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