She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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