take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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