You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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