I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
