I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
