Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
