Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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