id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
