Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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