I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
