how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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