Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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