I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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