How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
