You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
