Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
