hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
