For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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