i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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