I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
