Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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