I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will be naked everywhere
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
