I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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