i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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