I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
